Thursday, January 5, 2012

From The Inside Out

This morning is our first day back in the routine of things. Two dogs at my feet, a cat curled up in the corner and a stillness settles around me. The rhythmic on and off of the furnace reminds me of the blessings I tend to misplace when life gets busy. It was a good, but difficult holiday. The flu spared not one of us - eleven total. Pneumonia for the hardest hit. Oh, the gift that keeps on giving! As I sit here, still quite under the weather myself - this is the view from my desk. I literally just reached for the camera and clicked out my window.
Funny, how I am. Unable to stand for more than five minutes, weak and feverish, the first thing I did this morning, once the house cleared, was to make a list of what needs to be done. I do this when life gets a bit chaotic. Over a week of adult children and teenagers will do that to a household. I think, what I am looking for when I do this, is some sort of control...or the misconception that controlling my life will somehow alleviate my present suffering. It seems no matter how much I know the opposite to be true, in my moments of "unconsciousness", old habits flow smooth.
I'm thankful for the view. In the quiet moments of my morning, the connection to Nature is what brings me home. The sun rising over hoar frosted pines reminds me of the constant movement of life - like a river - still in it's wholeness, yet full of wild and wonderful currents. There is no stopping this constant change. It comforts me - the newness of each breath. The rebirth of all things, over and over and over again. Because, I am part of this great circle. It is my acceptance of this wonderful miracle called Life, this ever changing state of all things, that reconnects me with Being. It is my resistance to this that brings me my suffering - not the flu, not the piles of laundry, not the refrigerator full of molding leftovers - but my mind, fighting against the current, grasping for control, filling my head full of "should-bes" and "what-ifs". 

Today, I am still sick.
Today, I will be compassionate towards myself.
This is the most important thing we do.

From the inside, looking out...
Life is so very beautiful. 

The sun, waking the earth like the gentle hand of a mother, warm and tender. 
Reminding us all of our place in this new day.




abcsofra said...

With those views you are encased in God's looking glass. You are so fortunate to have this beauty surround you on a daily basis. Yes, that is truly living. Sometimes just standing still in it all can give us life. Feel better. We have had the same crude here for two weeks and counting. But we don't have the looking glass view to fill our souls with life. I am content with watching the bird feeder :-)

Susan said...

What a blessing to live in such a beautiful place. The photos are stunning.

I, too, am glad the festivities are over and life is getting back to normal.

Sorry you have to add the "crud" to your other health woes. Here's to a speedy recovery!

Anonymous said...

I just made the pic from your living room windows my background. I love that one. Sending love and light, my friend.

Anonymous said...

I, too, have been trying to convince my body that it's time to get back to our normal routine, i.e. laundry, dishes, showering, etc, but my body's not having any of it! I tell it, "C'mon, we've got things to do." and it simply says, "No." It doesn't seem to matter how much I argue with it, it simply says, "No."

I reluctantly surrender saying, "Okay, body, you win THIS round." Then upon reflection realize..."actually, you win EVERY round." Now, I can poke my head up and take a look around at the beauty around me, as well as your gorgeous photos!

Sending the breath of contentment your way. (^_^)

Theresa said...

Deb, sorry to hear you have had the crud as well. Tough stuff, that's for sure. I have a feeling I may be carrying the little buggers around with me most of the winter now.
You know, for me, it really does not matter how big the view, as long as I can see outside. I remember all the months I was in the hospital in 2009/2010 and the "view" I had from my rooms. Usually up on the 6th or 7th floor, my view consisted mainly of the tops of trees, buildings and sky. That simple view was all it took to keep me going. I looked at it with such intensity that I can still tell you details such as what the bricks looked like or who has blinds and who does not. Watching the clouds roll past was my way of KNOWING that all things pass, and I would soon be on to a different chapter of my life...and here I am! So you hold tight to that bird feeder!! Those beautiful little creatures are FULL of life's lessons and will bring you such peace. Our view truly is what we make it.
Blessings to you!!

Theresa said...

Susan, thank you!! And thank you for appreciating the "snap shots" of my life. They're so simple - yet so meaningful to me.
The trees out my bedroom window have brought me so much comfort over the past three years. Crazy, because only fifteen feet on the other side are a row of houses - yet, I never even think about those. It's something that I have been thinking a lot about and hope to write a little more of in the future.
So thank you for seeing the wonder in the simple with me!

Theresa said...

As I sit here, in the stillness of this morning....I am fairly sure I hear a whisper from that room saying..."Jeana...Jeana...Jeana..." The space loves you in return and quietly invites you...always.
Holding you in my heart,

Theresa said...

Kim, sometimes our bodies just know we have better things to do, other than meet up to the perfectly fabricated model of ourselves that we have created in our minds. For me, my mind even has a rendition of what the "sick me" should look like! It takes work to stop looking at the model and just listen to what our bodies are telling us in this moment. But I am finding that the more I listen, the easier it becomes. And you know what...All hell does NOT break loose (as my mind would like me to think it will if I don't hop to it!!). My life becomes MORE peaceful and in the end, things magically just work out. Being in the rhythm of what IS is so much easier than fighting reality!!
Blessings to you, my friend. I receive your offering of contentment with an open heart.